Referral

There is a reason why I haven't updated this blog in many months.  It is because there has been this huge question mark hanging over my head.  I just haven't known what to say about it, so I haven't said anything at all.  God recently answered that question, however.  Most of you reading this already know that about three weeks ago we accepted the referral of a beautiful baby boy from Ethiopia.  We are so thankful/nervous/thrilled/overwhelmed.  : )  There is a bit of a story here, which I shall greatly simplify for my curious readers out there.

{For as long as I can remember} I have wanted at least 4 kids. I never had any plans or desires to adopt until...

{March 2012} after watching my sister-in-law go through the process of adopting her daughter & reading the book Radical (among other things), my husband and I came to the conclusion that God was calling us to adopt internationally.  Although in my heart I wanted another bio baby, I knew that I had to give that desire to the Lord.  In all honesty, there was a bit of a grieving process there for me.  Yet I knew that doing hard things was a part of following Jesus, so we were doing something right.

{August 2012} After lots of paperwork, blah, blah, blah (see previous post), our dossier was complete, and we were on the waiting list.  By this time, I was stoked.  I had nursed my no-more-bio-kids grief with thoughts like, "Yay! I don't have to gain any more baby weight!  I can anticipate the arrival of our son while rocking my skinny jeans." And, "bye-bye morning sickness and excessive first trimester fatigue!  Not gonna miss you."  Also, "I will only have to deal with some jet lag instead of I-just-pushed-a-baby-out-and-now-I-feel-like-I-just-got-hit-by-a-truck exhaustion whilst taking care of a newborn."  Adoption was going to rock!  I kid you not... two weeks later...

{September 2012} I was staring at a positive pregnancy test thinking, "Oh. No."  But oh yes.  It was true.  My husband handled the news in his usual sunny side up style.  "All right!  Looks like we're going to have two babies.  We'll just call 2013 the year of chaos."  I wasn't convinced.  In fact, I was confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  Ultimately, we decided that continuing the adoption while I was pregnant was an unwise option.  Yep - more grieving.  (What was God doing to me?!  I had just gotten over the loss of the first hypothetical baby and now I had to start all over again!)  Once the decision was made to table our adoption plans, things got easier... at least emotionally.  Fast forward several months of weight gain, exhaustion, discomfort, and varicose veins...

{May 2013} Baby C entered the world!  The pregnancy was not much fun (apart from those miraculous baby kicks), but I was blessed with a very smooth labor, delivery, and recovery.  I actually thought at one point, "I could do this again!"  I adored my baby son, and I couldn't imagine life without him.  Yet the question remained... "What are we going to do about the adoption??"  There were no easy answers.  We prayed.  We fasted.  We weighed all the options.  Eventually, we knew what we had to do.  It was harder to take the leap the second time around, though.  I mean... I JUST had a baby!!  Could I really handle another one?!

{August 2013} We took that step of faith and got back on the waiting list.  (A year, to the day, from the first time we went on it.)  That same weekend, we were offered a referral!  Ahhh!!  We said yes.  We got pictures of our precious baby boy.  We discovered that he is nearly the same age as baby C. (Chocolate and vanilla twins - oh my!)  The bonding has already begun, friends.  It is beautiful.  There are still scary moments.  There are still overwhelming moments.  (And he's not even home yet!)  But it is right and it is good because God is good.  He loves A enough to shake up my little world and make a place for him in our family.

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.  Luke 12:48

That is me.  That my husband.  We have been given much, and we must give much.  We have been blessed to be a blessing.  Will you pray for us?  Will you pray for our sweet Ethiopian son?  We can not do this on our own strength.  Our son's little abandoned heart can not heal on its own.  We need Jesus the sustainer and healer.  We need His Church.

We don't yet know when we will bring our newest son home, but the estimate that we were given is January 2014.  I will do my best to post periodic updates on this crazy journey.  

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Here is the drawing that L created after finding out the news of her new brother.  It features our three youngest with their ages written above their heads. : )

1st Grade Curriculum

I am clearly not a very consistent blogger.  I have made a conscious decision not to let keeping a blog become another "to do" item.  Therefore, I only write when I feel really inspired.  Well right now... I am inspired!  I have spent the past few weeks researching homeschool curriculum and finally placed all my orders last week.  (In my defense, I have a baby coming in 3 1/2 months, so I have a good reason to plan so far ahead. : )  You have to be a teacher to truly appreciate the anticipation here.  As my sister says, when those new books arrive it feels like Christmas!

Although I like the idea of a Charlotte Mason type approach to schooling (learning from first hand experiences, reading "living" books, etc), I know that I function better with some structure.  Creativity is not my strong suit.  I feel better having textbooks to follow, while knowing that I have the freedom to skip assignments and add activities as I see fit and as time allows.  Miss L's curriculum for next year is quite the eclectic combination of styles and publishers.  Here is an overview of what we will be doing for 1st grade...

Reading/Spelling

I have been so happy with my choice for L's Kindergarten reading/spelling that I am sticking with it for 1st grade.  Once again, I ordered the All About Spelling program and the readers from the All About Reading program to go with it. (This time, level 2.) This is a solid phonics based system which is super easy to use.  I love the philosophy of learning to spell and read simultaneously.  I opted to skip this publisher's reading program because of the overlap in material with the spelling program, and I just bought the readers instead.  (They are fantastic, by the way.  Most readers I have seen include sight words - which usually aren't even true sight words - from the very beginning.  That is a major pet peeve of mine.  Not so with these books.  They follow the phonics rules that L is learning in her spelling lessons, the stories and illustrations are clever, and she loves them.)  I love that students learn all the sounds for phonograms right from the get go (for example... "a" has 3 sounds).  I also love the magnetic letter tiles that enable L to spell words without having to be a proficient writer.  As a plus, the materials are non-consumable, which is great when you have several kids.  (Can you tell I'm a fan? ; )

Language

In addition to L's spelling and reading, I wanted to introduce a bit more language in 1st grade.  Most publishers don't start grammar/writing programs until 2nd grade (I am assuming because that is when students are more independent readers and writers). Therefore,  I chose First Language Lessons as our guide. I like that it utilizes a variety of classical tools (memory work, copy work, narration, & grammar) to teach language and that it supposedly only takes 5-10 min a day.  It is also age appropriate for her in that it doesn't require much writing.  The complaints that I have read regarding the program have to do with the overly scripted lessons, tedious review, and emphasis on rote memorization.  The way I see it, I will skip the boring stuff and use it more as a tool to broaden L's introduction to language use.  It was very inexpensive and is non-consumable, so I think it will be a good choice.

Handwriting

Since I am teaching L cursive first, there are limited options for handwriting books.  Most are geared for grades 3+.  (Why in the world would I teach her cursive first, you ask?  Here is a good explanation.)  I am currently using a handwriting program from Logic of English to teach letter formation.  By the time she finishes Kindergarten, L will know how to form all the capital and lowercase cursive letters.  Next year, I plan to do some simple copy work and notebooking with her to help her continue practicing.  I also purchased some fun pages from A Reason For Handwriting that have lines for copy work and different borders for coloring.

Math

We are currently using Horizons math, and we will stick with this publisher for 1st grade.  L enjoys the colorful workbook pages, and I use a variety of manipulatives to teach new concepts and keep it interesting.  (The most helpful of which has been an abacus. I love that thing!)  Horizons uses a spiral learning approach (i.e. lots of review), so for awhile I was feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of workbook pages we needed to get through (since we usually only do Kindergarten 3 days a week).  Once I gave myself the freedom to skip unnecessary practice problems, I found that we can easily get through 2 lessons a day.  This puts us on track to finish before the baby arrives in May.  All that to say, it's working, L enjoys it, and we're sticking with it for next year. : )  I have my sights set on Teaching Textbooks or Saxon in the future, but neither of those are good options until 2nd or 3rd grade.

History

I know several other families who are enjoying Story of the World, and it has rave online reviews... so we are jumping on the bandwagon.  These books are basically what they sound like - history written in a story form.  They are designed to be used with multiple grade levels.  I greatly disliked history growing up, so I am hoping that this approach will help make history more enjoyable for my kids.  I splurged and bought the activity book that goes along with the first story book (Ancient Times).  There are lots of additional readings and activities that we will skip at this stage, but I definitely plan to utilize things like coloring pages and reenactment activities.  I'm hoping that M will choose to join his older sister for this subject.

Science

I am super excited about science.  (I love science!)  After lots, and lots, and lots of research... I settled on the God's Design for Life series.  This series is also designed to be used with multiple grade levels.  The life series comes with three books: The World of Animals, The World of Plants, and The Human Body.  We will just go at our own pace and see how far we get in a year.  I plan to read the texts to the kids, and then we will do the activities and experiments together.  Again, I'm hoping M will want to join us.  Of course, we will supplement what we are learning with nature walks, trips to the zoo, and notebooking.  Yay, science!

So that is my plan. : )  (Here's hoping it turns out to be a good one.)

To those of you in the same boat... happy homeschool planning!

Kindergarten

Just one more week until  L starts kindergarten!  This weekend I attended the AFHE homeschooling convention.  I was informed and inspired... and now I'm pumped to start!  I am convinced more than ever about our decision to homeschool the kids.  I know it will be hard... but I also know it will be worth it.

There is so much I could share from my weekend - how to help protect our children's purity, tips on choosing curriculum, or the importance of reading aloud.  But if I had to sum up everything I learned in one phrase, it would be this one from the keynote speaker, Heidi St. John:

Education is discipleship. 

Character development is more important than academics.  Showing our kids how to trust the Lord, love selflessly, forgive unconditionally, & work hard is far more important than teaching them to read, write, and do math.  Yes!  This is why we are homeschooling.  I am so thankful that I don't have to put my impressionable daughter on a school bus next week while I try to hold back the tears.  Instead we get to spend the day together... reading silly stories, creating words with our color coded magnet letters, learning to count and add with Legos, playing outside while we observe nature, and talking about Jesus.  

What a privilege it is.  Here we go!

Dossier

Yesterday was our ninth wedding anniversary - thank you, Lord.  I love my husband more than ever!  We have learned a lot over the past nine years and made many incredible memories together.  I was reminiscing recently about how it was last year, while celebrating our anniversary at an Italian restaurant, that we had our first discussion about adopting.

Now here we are.

One year later... and we are nearly finished with our dossier.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the adoption process, a dossier is basically a collection of personal documents that gets sent to the foreign government.  Two words describe the process of creating your dossier: crazy, yo.  Every piece of paper has to be signed, verified, notarized, certified, sealed, and/or authenticated.  There are separate (and some overlapping) requirements that must be met for each organization and governing body you are working with (in our case, our home study agency, our adoption agency, our state, our adoption agency's state, the U.S. federal government, and the Ethiopian government.)  I generally consider organization and attention to detail to be two of my personal strengths... but this process has had my head spinning on more than one occasion.  There is a right way to do certain things, but then there are other things that seem to be somewhat subjective.  Sometimes I think to myself, "why does adoption have to be so stinking complicated?!"  It just seems wrong.  Then I realize... it is what it is.  It is an imperfect process, not unlike the rest of this flawed world we live in.  And I will jump through every hoop... spend every minute necessary... and give every cent required to bring our son home.  Christ sacrificed everything to make me part of his family, so I will give whatever is necessary to make my Ethiopian son part of ours.  He is worth it.

So here we are.

We are hopefully just a few short weeks away from having our dossier submitted to Ethiopia.  The bulk of our paperwork will be behind us, and we will finally be on a waiting list.

Wow - it is starting to feel real.

Hard News & Good Hands

I opened up my Bible this morning to John 14.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God: trust also in me (Jesus)."

It was a very timely Scripture for me.  It has been a difficult week for my family.  On Monday my mom had major abdominal surgery and was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer.  Anyone who knows my family knows that we do not get over emotional about things.  Yet still... the stress and fears are present.  They weigh heavily.  There have been moments this week when I feel like I am doing just fine... and then I will suddenly realize that I am exhausted.  Grief can not be ignored.  It is hard to see my mom in pain.  It is almost as hard to be away from her, wondering how she is doing.

I continued reading John 14:27...

(Jesus says:) "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

It is just what I needed to hear.  I don't know how our family could walk this road without Jesus.  The work of God is already being displayed in this process.

And so, I will continue to pray.  I will continue to hope.  I will continue to trust the Lord who is rich in mercy and grace.  I love my mom so much... but our Savior loves her even more.  She is in good hands.

Inspiration

It seems fitting to follow up my post about our adoption news with an explanation of where some of our inspiration came from.  I know these heros of mine aren't looking for praise, but I'm going to recognize them anyway.  I have two people in mind.  Both are related to me.  (I have a pretty great family.)  And they are two of my best friends in the world.

First, my sister.  She is an amazing mom to four of the best kids I know.  She educates them all at home and manages her household with grace.  She is a busy mama!  A couple years ago she and her husband said "yes" to an infant girl whom no one wanted.  This baby was born with major physical impairments and was not expected to live more than a few months.  They poured their hearts out in prayer for this baby.  They brought her home to be their daughter.  She died a week later - in their arms.  (I still cry when I think about it.)  Last summer they accepted their first foster child referral.  They now care for a fifth child everyday (who is much more demanding than their own.)  They work hard.  They love him and his family well.  (The judge praised them in court for their excellence.)  Where does this kind of love come from?  Who chooses love when they know it will be followed by pain and loss and difficulty and exhaustion?  Someone whose heart has been transformed by Jesus.  Someone like my sister.

Then there is my sister-in-law.  A single woman who chose not to put her life and service to the Lord on hold just because she didn't have a husband.  A brave and adventurous woman!  It has been almost two years since she became mother to her Ethiopian daughter (one of the spunkiest, most adorable little girls you will ever meet.)  I have never known a more capable woman.  Her will is so strong... yet her heart is so soft.  As if that isn't inspiration enough, she is now waiting to bring home two more African daughters.  (Say WHAT?!)  Yes, you read that right.  This girl is crazy - like Jesus.  I love her!  You can read more about her journey here.

So thank you, sisters, for inspiring me.  My life has been forever changed because of you.

We Are Expecting!

I have been anxious to share this news for awhile, and we are finally far enough along that we feel comfortable sharing...  We are expecting!  Unlike all of our other pregnancies, however, this one was not planned (so to speak).  I have always wanted at least four kids, but I had just assumed they would all be blue eyed like their Daddy and me.  A little less than a year ago, the Lord planted a seed in my heart.  Little did I know how that seed would take root and grow and change our family forever.  It is a long story (perhaps I will share more at another time), but the short version is that we are adopting!  This "paper pregnancy" has started with oodles of paperwork and will end with a flight to Ethiopia to pick up our newest son.  We are thrilled!  The timing of everything is still very much unknown.  We just had our home study done this past weekend and will hopefully be able to put together the remainder of our dossier by mid July.  Some time after that we would be ready to receive a referral for a specific child.  Adoptions are notoriously unpredictable, so this will certainly be a faith building adventure!

It is crazy to me how much has changed in the past year.  I had a plan... and this wasn't it.  The Lord patiently showed me that sometimes we have to give up our good plans in order to embrace His greater plans.  My husband and I don't just want to read the Word of God; we want to do what it says.  We want to be the hands and feet of Jesus bringing justice and mercy to a hurting world.  We want to see His Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.  It's a little scary sometimes, but I choose to trust the Lord.  We are rejoicing in the plans God has for our African son... and in the plans he has for our family.